Torn in Two
by girl-on-sunshine
Summary: Adrian's conflicting thoughts about Rose while he's getting to know her at the academy. This is set around the end of Frostbite and the start of Shadow kissed. One-shot. Songfic. Torn in two by After we fall.


A/N: This is an Adrian songfic I'm sure you can pick up on the theme and what it's about. The song is torn in two by after we fall, I couldn't find the lyrics so I had to listen to the song and write them myself, sorry for any mistakes.

I do not own the lyrics all credit goes to after we fall and Richelle Mead for the characters. I like to play with them.

Torn in Two - Songfic

Adrian's POV of when he's first at the academy, start of Shadow-kissed, end of Frost-bite.

Adrian was wandering around the school grounds, all the students were in class. The moon shone down on him, reminding him of Rose Hathaway. Somehow everything beautiful made him think of her recently. He needed help.

He was an Ivashkov! Why was he thinking constantly and admiringly of a dhampir? It was Ridiculous. He didn't love her, he just wanted her. That was all it could be. He couldn't explain why he cared so much about her, why he wondered if she was okay, if she was happy when he wasn't with her. He sighed, troubled and curious. He shouldn't want to get to know her better, but he did.

_Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight _

He was a royal Moroi. She was a guardian-in-training Dhampir. At least she wasn't a blood whore. If she was it would be easier, easier to reject her, easier to get to her. If anything did happen between them it would be scandalous. He didn't want to use her, he wanted to love her. It was becoming more obvious each time he saw them together that she was already in love with Dimitri Belikov.

_If I let you go  
Then I'll never know  
If this is to be  
Then why can't I see  
If I let you slip from my grasp  
Keep running from the past  
If I let you turn the other way  
Have nothing left to say_

Maybe he should just leave the academy, give up on spirit and Rose. No, he needed to know more about spirit. He could ignore her although the idea seemed repulsive and impossible. He was enchanted by her every time he saw her.

_Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one_

He shouldn't even be considering this yet every time he let his thoughts drift he would find himself considering this much forbidden idea.

_If I let this fade into memories  
Would I regret what we haven't said?  
If I let you slip from my grasp  
Keep running from the past  
If I let you turn the other way  
Have nothing left to say  
_  
When they'd first met he'd told her how convenient it was that both their past's proceeded them, their reputations taunting their views.

_Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one  
_

_Torn in to for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one  
Torn in two for you  
But I don't know what to choose tonight  
I'd love to let you inside but there's only room for one _

_I'll never know  
But there's only room for one  
Why can't I see?  
But there's only room for one._

My mind was overflowing with conflicting thoughts,

To love Rose? Or not? To be a royal Moroi, Whose only happiness is materialistic? Or to be happy with a Dhampir, Yet shunned by society?

This love is forbidden and would be confusing and problematic but it would be true, pure.

Then there is Rose's reputation with boys, she has apparently had quite a number of them. My reputation isn't so great either; would Rose be just another girl? If I ever got her would she just be another conquest?

Torn in two by you.


End file.
